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Today’s Catch and Release is brought to you by FB Messenger. I am short on demographic details and long on amusing questions.

Message:

Hot guy:         

I want you.

I know you know that.

CATCH

When she received this text, she had an instant smile. A smirk. Her heart raced a bit and she was slightly aroused.

I mean come on. Who doesn’t like reading that?

To be wanted. To have someone with confidence tell you that you are desired.

What is the response to this?

‘Thank you.’ ‘Me too’. ‘I do know that’. ????

She wrote, erased, wrote something else, erased about 5 more times before she sent,

“Now that is a message to come out of a concert and read.”

She didn’t know if that was the best choice. She wanted to be sexy yet mysterious, encouraging yet not too eager. She wanted him to know she liked it but not too much.

And you KNOW he didn’t think 3 seconds about what he sent. Sent and done.

(Except I’ve lived in a house raising three teenage-20 something boys and have seen them agonize over a single sentence and over analyze the meaning of a response. It goes all ways.)

But this guy? I don’t know him but from what I heard he seems like a guy who thinks it, feels it and sends it. No looking back. Like it or don’t. Whatever and moving on.

That text led into what they wanted to do to each other. It got pretty hot. Cut to the chase and both were into it. It was SUPER HOT. Like she wants to hump her pillow hot.

It ended with her texting:

“I wish I was ducking your sock right now.”?

Him: (silence)

Her: (inside her head….OMG. It was so hot and now this stupid autocorrect.)

(Those dots are moving.)

Him: (silence)

Her: (inside her head…do I acknowledge? Do I correct? Do I ignore and move on? WHAT DO I DO?)

Context and a lot of questions: Does it matter that his text is sent at 11:30pm? Does it matter that it was followed up with requests for a sext pix? Does it matter that he most likely sent the same text to 5 girls at the same time to see who would bite?

Does it matter that when she received it she was wearing a mouthguard with teeth bleach and a face mask but instantly felt super sexy? Or maybe she was walking around wrapping up her night out with the girls and feeling frisky and playful?

I’m also curious what are the rules for age appropriate sexting? Can you sext things at 29 that you can’t at 45 or shouldn’t at 20? What about 15 or 80? Or is it all just a guess of chance and context?

How do you know what is sad and out of place or unwanted in a sext and what is hot and kicking it up a notch if you are just meeting each other? What about if you are married?

Conclusion:

He ended up picking up where they left things at the same time she acknowledged the autocorrect. She surmised that he was a man who takes charge, doesn’t worry about the little things, has a well tested texting formula that worked great with the ladies and she didn’t care. She’s not marrying this guy but she hasn’t gotten to the ‘release’ yet. She said she’d let me know if there is a story with that.

Dr. J 01

So the lessons here:

Autocorrect can be a c*$kblock.

Sexting is for most ages but the context is critical in the flow.

Sexting requires vulnerability, surrender and connection for it to enhance things.

Once you send it, you can’t get it back.

Overthinking can kill your vibe, “underthinking” can kill your connection.

It isn’t for everyone, every situation, every time of day but it also can be fun and sexy in any situation, any time of day and with people you wouldn’t predict would be game.

If it is good, expect for one of you to share it with someone else. And it may end up in a blog one day.

Send your Catch and Release stories to drjulianamorris@gmail.com or submit to https://drjulianamorris.typeform.com/to/H4jye6.